Often we're told that we have to suffer now — give up what we want — in order to succeed later, that in order to save we must sacrifice. Give up instant gratification to get delayed gratification.
But you can do both.
For years, I was confused about this, as I read books and websites that sent me two different messages:
Pleasure later. The first message was that in order to be successful, in order to build wealth, you have to delay gratification. You can't have instant gratification and be successful.
Pleasure now. The second message was usually from other sources on Happiness, but sometimes from the same source: enjoy life now, while you can, because it's short and you never know when your last day will come. Live every day like it's your last. Trouble is, I agree with both messages. And if you read this site often, you’ll see that I send both messages: Live frugally and simply! But also enjoy life!
That's because I've reconciled the two philosophies into one: Live life now and enjoy it to the fullest — without destroying your future. The key to doing that? Find ways to enjoy life completely, utterly, maximally … that don’t cost your future very much.
Here are some tips for actually living that philosophy:
Find free or cheap pleasures. Frugality does not have to be boring or restrictive … if you use your imagination. Be creative and find ways to have fun — loads of it — without spending much money. Have a picnic at the park, go to the beach, do crafts, board games, fly a kite, make art, bake cookies … I could list a hundred things, and you could come up with a few hundred more. Make a list of simple pleasures, and enjoy them to the maximum. This is the key to the whole idea of enjoying life now without spending tomorrow's dollar. See Savor the Little Things .
Make simplifying fun. I'm a big fan of simplifying my life, from decluttering to creating a simple lifestyle in every way. And to me, this is great fun. I get rid of stuff (and possibly make money selling it) and have a blast doing it. That’s good math.
Rediscover what’s important. Oftentimes we spend tons of money, shopping, going out, watching movies, eating out … without really enjoying life. And when we stop to think about it, we never have time for the things we really want to do. Well, that's probably because your life is filled with things that aren't very important to you. Instead, step back and really think about what’s important to you. Then get rid of the other (expensive) stuff, and focus on what's important. Listen to some stuff on my list: my wife and kids, other friends and family, reading, writing, exercising, volunteering, spending quiet time in contemplation. Guess how many of those things cost a lot of money? Read more here .
Make people a priority. This is related to the above point, but I thought I'd give it a little more emphasis. If you give "stuff" a priority — stuff like gadgets, nice furnishings, nice clothes, shoes, jewelry, etc. — then you will spend a lot of money. But if you make people a priority — the people you love most, you close friends and family — you don't need to spend a dime to enjoy life. Make some time to visit with friends, or your parents … and have a conversation with them that doesn't involve eating out or going to the movies. Just sit, have some iced tea or hot cocoa (depending on the weather), and talk. Tell jokes and laugh your heads off. Talk about books you've read, movies you’ve watched, new things going on in your life, your hopes and dreams. And make time for your kids or your significant other — really spend time with them, doing things that don't cost money. (See Spend Time with Family and Loved Ones , 100 Ways to Have Fun With Your Kids and 50 Ways to Be Romantic on the Cheap .)
Find time for yourself. Make time every day, and every week, to spend time alone. It really gives more meaning and enjoyment to your life, rather than rushing through life with no time to think, to breathe. For ideas on how to make this time, see these ways to create time for solitude .
Sometimes, splurge. You shouldn't restrict yourself from expensive pleasures all the time — it's not good to develop the feeling of deprivation. To prevent that, once in awhile, buy yourself something … or better yet, give yourself a decadent treat. I love things with dark chocolate or berries. Crepes with ice cream and berries are one of my favorites. Just don't go overboard … and learn to enjoy the splurge to the fullest. If you truly take the time to enjoy a treat, you don't need a lot of it.
Track your successes. It doesn't really matter how you track your success … you can use gold stars for creating a new simplifying or frugalfying habit, or a spreadsheet chart to track your decreasing debt and increasing savings or investments. Tracking is a great way to not only provide motivation, but make the process of changing fun.
Reward yourself. And in order to make it more fun, celebrate every little success! Set rewards for yourself (hopefully not too expensive!) along your path to success — celebrate one day, two days, three days, a week, two weeks, three, a month … you get the idea.
Volunteer. One of the most rewarding things for my family has been when we have managed to volunteer. It's actually something we only started doing last year, but since then, we've done it a bunch of times in a number of different ways. And while it doesn't cost a dime, it is tremendously satisfying in ways that money could never buy. Read more .
Live in the moment. Learn to think not so much about the past or future, but about what you are going through right now. Be present. It may seem trite, but it's the key to enjoying life to the fullest — without having to spend money. Think about it — you can spend money on eating out, but if you are not really thinking about what you're eating, you may not enjoy it much at all. But if you cook a simple but delicious meal, and really taste every bite, it can be tremendously enjoyable without costing a lot. Read more .
Slow down. In the same way, you can't really enjoy life to the fullest if it's rushing past you like it's on fast forward. Ever think about how quickly a week, a month, or a year goes by? Perhaps you're in the fast lane too much. Try slowing down, and things will be less stressful and more enjoyable. Drive slower , eat slower , live slower .
Learn to find cheap, cool stuff. Call me crazy, but I love shopping at thrift stores. You can find so many cool things there, and it costs so little. Garage sales are the same way. Or check out Freecycle , or read 20 Ways to Find Free or Cheap Books .
我們常常被告知,眼前要吃苦——放棄我們想要的——為了以后的成功,最后的勝利而犧牲現(xiàn)在。放棄即時行樂而實(shí)現(xiàn)今后的幸福。
其實(shí)你可以同時擁有。
過去幾年,這個問題一直困擾著我,因?yàn)槲以跁泻驮诰W(wǎng)上看到的不大一樣:
行樂在后。我看到的第一種講法就是,為了功成名就,腰纏萬貫,你就得延遲享樂。要是你反其道而行之,及時行樂,那就難成功也。
及時行樂。我 所了解的第二種關(guān)于幸福的說法,主要是從其他地方看到的,但有時也就是從書中讀到:趁自己年輕,要及時行樂,珍惜現(xiàn)在,因?yàn)槿松喽,你永遠(yuǎn)也無法預(yù)測哪 一天會是盡頭。好好珍惜每一天,就好象那是你人生的最后一刻。但問題就是,我覺得這兩種說法都沒錯。如果你常常瀏覽這個網(wǎng)站的話,你就會發(fā)現(xiàn)我的文章同時 體現(xiàn)了這兩種態(tài)度:既要艱苦樸素!但也應(yīng)及時行樂!
原因在于我將這兩種觀念合二為一:珍惜現(xiàn)在,及時行樂—但不要?dú)Я俗约旱奈磥。那么要做到這一點(diǎn),關(guān)鍵是什么呢?那就是要盡量實(shí)現(xiàn)最大限度的享受現(xiàn)在的生活,但又不陪上自己的未來。
想要活得精彩的話,這里倒是有些建議:
找到免費(fèi)或廉價的行樂方式。勤 儉節(jié)約不一定就和無聊或拮據(jù)掛勾,當(dāng)然你得充分發(fā)揮自己的想象力。要有創(chuàng)造性,變著花樣找樂子,你就會發(fā)現(xiàn),其實(shí)享樂方法有很多,不一定要花大把的錢。比 如說,到公園野餐,去海邊,做做工藝品,下下棋,放放風(fēng)箏,畫畫,烤個小餅干,我還可以列出許許多多,而且我相信你會發(fā)現(xiàn)更多。給簡單的行樂方式列張表, 并最大可能地來享受其中的樂趣。這就是既能及時行樂又不至于寅食卯糧的核心所在。就好好品位生活的細(xì)微之處吧。
讓快樂簡單化。我十分推崇生活簡單化,并盡全力將生活的各個方面都變簡單。對于我來說,簡單就是很大的樂趣。我把不用的東西都處理掉(常常是賣掉賺點(diǎn)錢),整個人就覺得舒坦。而且還能賺錢,何樂而不為呢?
重新審定生命的重心。我 們常;ù蟀汛蟀训你y子去購物,旅游,看電影,上飯館等等,可卻沒有真正地享受生活。待到我們真地靜下來想時,卻發(fā)現(xiàn)總沒有時間做我們真正想做的事情。好 吧,那也許是因?yàn)槟愕纳畛涑庵酂o關(guān)緊要的瑣事。你應(yīng)當(dāng)退一步,好好想一下,什么對你來說才是最重要的。你可以聽聽我的想法:對我來說,重要的是我的 妻子和孩子,家庭和朋友,看書,寫作,運(yùn)動,做志愿者,安靜地沉思。猜猜看,這些事情中哪些要花費(fèi)大筆的鈔票?接著往下看吧。
以人為本。這 個其實(shí)和上面一個觀點(diǎn)相關(guān)聯(lián),但我私下認(rèn)為,這一點(diǎn)更重要。如果你優(yōu)先考慮某些事情—諸如小玩意,精致的家具,衣著,鞋子,珠寶等等—那么你可能得花大把 的鈔票了。但要是你把人放在第一位—你最愛的那些人,親近的朋友家人—那么,你什么都不需要耗費(fèi)就能盡享人生之樂;c(diǎn)時間拜訪一下朋友、父母,和他們談 談心,不一定要上館子吃一頓,或是看電影。你要做的,只是和他們坐一起,喝喝冰茶或熱咖啡(看天氣而定),大家聊聊天就夠了。講講笑話,就足以讓自己笑個 滿懷;和他們講講自己看過的書,看過的電影,一些正在發(fā)生的新鮮事,和他們說說自己的期望和夢想,這已經(jīng)是很幸福了。還要記得為自己的孩子和愛人留點(diǎn)時 間,和他們一起做些事情,并不一定要花錢。(你看吧,跟家人和自己愛的人在一起,數(shù)以百計(jì)的方式和孩子一起分享快樂,有一半都不用花大錢。)
為自己留點(diǎn)時間。最好能保證每天每周給自己以獨(dú)處的時間。這樣能讓你的生活更有意義,充滿幸福感,而不是匆匆過活,沒有時間思考,沒有時間呼吸自由的空氣,到最后都搞不清楚自己到底是怎么活的。想想看要怎么才能擠出時間,讓自己獨(dú)處。
有時候,稍稍揮霍一下。你 也大可不必老是“清貧苦守”—要是形成了被剝奪感可就不好了。為了防止那種情況發(fā)生,你可以偶爾給自己買點(diǎn)東西,要不就允許自己大吃一頓,那就更好了。我 個人很喜歡沾有黑巧克力或漿果的食品。冰淇淋和漿果都是我的最愛。當(dāng)然不能過度,要學(xué)會從奢侈中盡情享受。如果你是真地花時間好好享用一頓大餐的話,根本 不需要花很多錢的。
記錄自己的成功。你要怎樣記錄都沒關(guān)系—你可以因?yàn)樽约吼B(yǎng)成了新的簡單或節(jié)儉的習(xí)慣而獎勵自己金星,或繪制張大圖表,依次記錄自己逐漸減少的債務(wù)、不斷增多的積蓄或投資。這種記錄的方式不僅能給你以動力,還能讓整個過程充滿趣味呢。
獎勵自己。為了讓整個過程更有意思,每一次小小的成功都要好好慶祝!在通往成功的道路上,要不斷地獎勵自己(希望獎項(xiàng)不要太昂貴)--每天,每兩天,每三天,每周,每兩周,每三周,每個月……都可以慶祝,我想你應(yīng)該明白我的意思了。
做志愿者。這可以說對我們家而言最有意義的事情了。事實(shí)上,我們從去年才開始的。但自從開始做志愿工作以來,我們就一直花時間以各種各樣的方式去做。即便做志愿者不須花費(fèi)一分一毫,卻能給人以極大的滿足感,這是用錢也買不到的。接著看下去吧。
活在當(dāng)下。不 要老去想過去和未來的事情,只要想想自己現(xiàn)在正在做的就可以了;钤诖丝蹋∫苍S這聽起來有點(diǎn)陳腐,但卻是真正享受生活的真諦所在—而且還不用花錢哦!仔細(xì) 想想看吧—你花錢出去吃飯,但如果你沒有真正品味你口中的食物,那么你也就絲毫享受不到其中的樂趣。但是,如果你雖然只是簡單地做了些家常菜,但卻認(rèn)真品 味每一口,那么即便沒花很多錢,你也享受到了人生的樂趣。還有呢!
放慢腳步。同樣的,要是你匆匆向前跑去,根本就體會不了生活的美好。你有沒有想過一周,一月,甚至一年,怎就一轉(zhuǎn)而逝了呢?也許你在快行道上呆太久了。試著讓自己慢下來,讓一切不再那么緊張,而是變得更令人愉悅吧!車子開得慢點(diǎn),飯吃得慢點(diǎn),讓生活的節(jié)奏慢一點(diǎn)吧!
學(xué)會買物美價廉的東西。你可以叫我是瘋子,但我就是喜歡在舊貨店買東西。在那里,你花一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)的錢,就能淘到很多好東西。雜貨店大減價也是同樣道理。要不你還可以找些免費(fèi)的,或讀讀這本《20種方法教你買到免費(fèi)和便宜的書》也行吶。