It's the middle of August. School is just around the corner.

    Not for me, of course. I've been out of school so long I hardly remember ever going. But for millions of kids, reading and writing and 'rithmetic are soon to be part of daily life once again. Along with homework. That is, if kids do homework anymore.

    There's a book out this week, Homework for Grown-Ups: Everything You Learned at School and Promptly Forgot. It's sort of a CliffsNotes on everything we once knew but no longer do.

    There are chapters on English, math, history, science. There's even a quiz at the end of each chapter.

    To be honest, I don't get it. One of the few good things about being an adult is that you don't have homework anymore.

    I remember doing hours of it every night in high school - Latin translation alone took a couple of hours - and I really have little desire to return to the world of Caesar and Cicero. That's Kickero, by the way.

    I also remember there were courses in high school that I knew I would never, ever, ever use once I finished the homework and grew up. Trigonometry was one. Chemistry was the other.

    The day I walked out of both classes was the day I promptly forgot everything I had learned that year. I felt cleansed. Liberated. Free at last.

    And some 40 years later, I have yet to use anything I was taught in those courses.

    I'm sure the periodic table of elements still hangs on the wall of every science classroom in America, and I'm sure all those elements are still in their proper places. Good for them.

    Just leave me out of it.

    I went abroad as an exchange student just before the final exam in chemistry was given. My teacher confessed he thought my timing was perfect. So did I.

    As for triangles, unless we're talking about love, I still have no interest in them whatsoever.

    In all my years I have never once attended a cocktail party where the conversation turned to the Pythagorean theorem. Maybe I'm running in the wrong circles. Then again, maybe I'm running in the right circles.

    The press material that came with this book says that using it will allow me to hold my "head high with pride" when I'm next asked to help with homework.

    We have several kids in our neighborhood. They ask me to feed their fish, to give money to their fundraisers, to go to their lacrosse games and cheer them on. And I do.

    But if the conversation ever turns to their homework, I always use the same three little words.

    Ask your father.

    已經(jīng)是八月中旬了，很快就要開學了。

    當然，不是說我。我已經(jīng)離開學校很久了，甚至有些不記得自己曾經(jīng)上過學了。但是，對于數(shù)百萬的孩子們來說，讀書、寫字和做算術(shù)將很快再次成為他們?nèi)粘Ｉ�活的一部分。更確切地說，假如孩子們還做作業(yè)的話。

    這星期出了本書，名叫《成年人的家庭作業(yè)：學校里所學的一切與迅速的遺忘》。有點像克利夫筆記所說：我們曾知的一切，如今再不能記起。

    英語、數(shù)學、歷史、科學的章節(jié)我們都曾學過，甚至在每一章節(jié)最后還曾做過小測驗。

    老實說，我是不懂。長大成人的少量的幾個好處之一是，你再也不用做家庭作業(yè)了。

    記得我曾經(jīng)連續(xù)幾小時忙著做家庭作業(yè)--高中時每晚必做--僅僅是拉丁語翻譯就要花兩三個小時--我真的沒什么興趣回到凱撒和西塞羅的世界里去。順便說一下，那是Kickero（指西塞羅的英文）.

    還記得，我上高中時就清楚，有些課程在我做完作業(yè)后，在我長大成人后，將永遠也不會用到一次。三角是一個，化學是另一個。

    我走出那兩個課堂的那天，就是我迅速忘記那年我所學的一切的一天。我覺得干凈了，解放了，終于自由了。

    四十多年后，我還是從未用過那些課程所教過的任何知識。

    我肯定，化學元素周期表肯定還掛在美國每一間科學教室的墻上，我還確定，所有那些元素依舊在他們該在的位置上。這對他們來說挺好。

    讓我遠離他們吧。

    化學期終測驗之前，我作為一名交換學生去了國外，老師說他覺得我時間拿捏得真準。同感。

    說道三角，除了談及戀愛時外，我至今都無論如何無法對他們產(chǎn)生興趣。

    活了這些年，我還從來沒有參加過一場討論勾股定理的雞尾酒會。也許我生活的圈子不對吧，不過，或許我生活的圈子是對的呢。

    這本書上說，有了它，下次再有人請我輔導家庭作業(yè)時，我就能夠"自豪地高昂著頭".

    四鄰有幾個小孩子，他們請我?guī)退麄兾刽~，贊他們募捐，跟他們玩長曲棍球游戲，逗他們開心，我樂意。

    不過一旦談話涉及他們的家庭作業(yè)，我總是用這三個字答復：問你爸。