There seems to be much violence in our world today that comes from intolerance, from people who are unable or unwilling to seek compromise with the other side. I feel this reaction is the result of the inability to feel compassion and empathy for others. Although most of us have little control over this arena in world events, we can influence the compassion experienced and communicated in our day-to-day life.

    Friends, it takes a lot of strength to be compassionate, especially when you are up against harshness, cruelty, anger and fear. Some mistake the act of being compassionate as a sign of weakness. Others may feel that compassion means giving up everything for someone else, or simply helping people out in times of need such as a natural disaster. While giving to others and extending a helping hand in dire situations are indeed examples of being compassionate, there are other ways.

    Acting with compassion can also mean being patient and responding in a nonaggressive way, even when you are being provoked. For example, friend, has someone ever struck out at you for no apparent reason, leaving you hurt, angry and confused by such behavior? Most likely, your initial reaction was to strike back, but if you were able to distance yourself from the experience and not take it personally, you may have had a different reaction.

    What if the difficult behavior you experienced actually had nothing to do with you? You may just have happened to cross paths with someone who was in a bad mood for reasons unknown to you. Taking such mitigating factors into consideration could make all the difference in the quality of your communication.

    This type of communication is called nonviolent communication, and it's about emphasizing compassion rather than negative feelings such as fear, guilt, shame, blame, coercion, threat, or justification for punishment. When we focus on clarifying what we observe, feel, need, and want, rather than on diagnosing and judging, we can discover our own compassion. We end up practicing a kind of deep listening to ourselves as well as others. If we are able to look at other people and ourselves with this wider heart, we can begin to change the quality of our communications. This action will affect others as well as ourselves in a positive way.

    What I am suggesting, friends, is no easy task, but perhaps it can give you some perspective and hope for dealing with the anger and aggression in a world that feels out of control. Once we find peace within ourselves, we will find it around us.

    似乎在我們的世界發(fā)生許多的暴力事件，因?yàn)椴荒苋萑�，不能或不愿尋求與對(duì)方妥協(xié)的人。我覺(jué)得這種反作用是無(wú)法感受同情和對(duì)他人憐憫的結(jié)果。盡管我們大多數(shù)人難以控制世界事件的角斗場(chǎng)，但我們可以影響我們?cè)谌粘Ｉ�活中�?jīng)歷和溝通的同情。

    朋友們，這需要更多的力量是富有同情心 ,特別是當(dāng)你對(duì)付嚴(yán)酷，殘暴，憤怒和恐懼。有些人錯(cuò)誤的把富有同情心的行為看成是一種軟弱的標(biāo)志。另外一些人可能覺(jué)得同情心意味著為某些人放棄所有，或者簡(jiǎn)單的在人們需要時(shí)簡(jiǎn)單的幫助他們，如自然災(zāi)害。雖然給與別人和在可怕的情況時(shí)伸出救助之手確實(shí)是富有同情心的例子，但還有其他的方法。

    同情的表現(xiàn)也可意味著耐心的，甚至當(dāng)你被挑釁的時(shí)候，你以一種不被侵犯的方式回應(yīng)。比如，朋友，有沒(méi)有人一直無(wú)緣由的冒犯你，讓你受傷，生氣并為這些行為困惑？最有可能的是，你最初的反應(yīng)是回?fù)�，但是如果你能把自己從這些經(jīng)歷中遠(yuǎn)離開(kāi)來(lái)并不把它攬?jiān)谧约荷砩�，你可能就�?huì)有不同的反應(yīng)。

    如果你遇到困難的行為而實(shí)際上與你無(wú)關(guān)呢？你也許剛好和某個(gè)你不知道什么原因使他心情不好的人交叉穿過(guò)道路�？紤]到可以讓所有不同的在你的溝通質(zhì)量差的緩解因素。

    這種類(lèi)型的交流被稱(chēng)為非暴力頭痛，它更多的是強(qiáng)調(diào)同情心，而非消極情緒，比如恐懼，內(nèi)疚，羞愧，責(zé)備，脅迫，威脅，或者懲辯。當(dāng)我們側(cè)重于澄清我們的觀察，感受，需求和希望，而不是診斷和判斷，我們就會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)自己的同情心。最終我們奉行一種深聽(tīng)自己和他人。如果我們用這顆寬廣的心曲看待人們和自己，我們就開(kāi)始改變了我們的交流質(zhì)量。這種反應(yīng)將會(huì)以以后總積極的方式影響他人和我們自己。

    朋友們，我的建議就是，沒(méi)有容易的任務(wù)，但是很可能它會(huì)給你一些處理世界上超出我們控制范圍的憤怒和侵犯的期望和希望。一旦我們發(fā)現(xiàn)自己內(nèi)心的和平，我們就會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)它就在我們身邊。