A freak accident put my eyesight at risk. A quick operation fixed things, but recuperation was slow and I feared disfigurement. Then I learned to see the world anew.

    一場奇怪的事件讓我差點(diǎn)失去了視力。及時(shí)的手術(shù)治療對(duì)我的眼睛進(jìn)行了修復(fù)，然而恢復(fù)卻是如此的緩慢，我陷入了毀容的恐懼之中。我也漸漸學(xué)會(huì)了用一種全新的眼光去觀察這個(gè)世界。

    The explosion in my head sent fragments of light everywhere. It happened so fast I wasn't sure what hit me. Then I looked up, and there he was, in his usual place, curled around my head. He was still deep in sleep, legs kicking akimbo as he raced across a field after an imaginary cat. Somehow, my 85-pound yellow Lab, Harry, had managed to kick me in my left eye with his hind leg while he slept.My eye throbbed with a dull, numbing pain.

    我頭部的近乎爆炸的聲響將所有的光明碎片擊落了一地。它發(fā)生的是如此的突然以至于我都不清楚是什么擊中了我的頭部。我環(huán)顧了四周，Harry在我旁邊卷曲著身子，還是躺在平常的地方。它依然熟睡，雙腳抵腰，好像在追逐著瞌睡貓。不知怎么的，我那85磅的Harry一定是在熟睡的時(shí)候用它的后腿踢到了我的左眼。我的眼睛帶著遲鈍和麻木的痛跳動(dòng)著。

    I knew immediately something was wrong. My left eye wouldn't move in sync with my right. After a couple of minutes my vision cleared, and the movement of my left eye seemed to return to normal. I shook it off and began my day, slightly worried, but sure it was nothing. By midmorning I was busy at work and had completely forgotten about the whole thing.

    我立刻意識(shí)到發(fā)生了什么事情。我的左眼不能和右眼一起挪動(dòng)。幾分鐘過后，我的視線漸漸清晰開來，而我的左眼看起來也回復(fù)了正常。我把它撇到一邊開始了我一天的忙碌，盡管有些許擔(dān)心，但我確信是不會(huì)發(fā)生什么的。整個(gè)上午一直很忙，把這件事情也完全拋在了腦后。

    Late the following afternoon, I noticed a curtain of blackness in the lower right corner of my left eye as I was walking down the hall at work. The blackness was as if someone was standing in front of a movie projector and blocking off the lower right-hand corner of the screen. I ran into my office and frantically called my ophthalmologist. Trying to stay calm, I raced across town and made it to his office within 15 minutes. I feared blindness would set in at any moment. My ophthalmologist ushered me immediately into his examination chair and quietly explained that my retina, which sends visual images to the brain through the optic nerve, was pulling away from its usual position on the back wall of my eyeball. If I didn't get it repaired right away, he told me, I could lose my sight in that eye.

    下午晚些時(shí)候，當(dāng)我走在工作大廳時(shí)，我注意到左眼的右下部分出現(xiàn)了黑點(diǎn)，就像某個(gè)人站在電影放音機(jī)前擋住了屏幕的右下方。我匆忙的跑回辦公室近乎發(fā)狂的給我的眼科醫(yī)生打電話。盡量的保持鎮(zhèn)靜，我跑著穿過市區(qū)，在15分鐘內(nèi)趕到了他的辦公室。我害怕在任何時(shí)刻失明的突然降臨。眼科醫(yī)生立刻讓我坐在了他的檢查椅上，安靜的解釋著我的視網(wǎng)膜出現(xiàn)的問題。視網(wǎng)膜通過視覺神經(jīng)將視覺圖片傳遞到大腦，然后按原路返回傳遞到眼球表層。他告訴我，如果不及時(shí)的進(jìn)行治療，我的左眼會(huì)失去視覺。

    By 5:30 that evening I was 40 miles away in a retinal surgeon's waiting room with five or six other patients. I spent the next several hours filled with anxiety. What would the surgeon be able to do for me? Would it hurt? Would I be able to go back to work? Would I have to spend the rest of my life blind in one eye? 

    那個(gè)晚上的5：40，我和6個(gè)其他患者坐在40公里外的一個(gè)視網(wǎng)膜專家的候診室里。我在焦慮和不安中度過了余下的幾個(gè)小時(shí)。這個(gè)治療會(huì)給我?guī)�來什么不得而知。它真的損壞了么？我還能不能回到工作崗位上？我是否要在失去一只眼睛視力的情況下度過余生？

    The surgeon told me my eye needed to be repaired right away, and he gave me two options. The first option was to have my eye repaired right there in his office. But that would mean injecting my eyeball with a very large needle and then enduring several agonizing hours of surgery while my retina was being repaired. All while I was fully awake! No way. 

    這名醫(yī)生告訴我需要對(duì)眼睛立刻進(jìn)行修復(fù)，給我提供了兩種選擇。一種是在他的辦公室里對(duì)我的眼睛進(jìn)行修復(fù)。那個(gè)也就意味著要用一根非常大的針向我的眼睛里進(jìn)行注射，而且要忍受整個(gè)視網(wǎng)膜修復(fù)過程帶來的精神和身體上帶來的痛苦。整個(gè)過程我都會(huì)十分清醒。這不可能。

    So I chose option number two: surgery at the hospital with general anesthesia. Whatever they did to my eye while I was unconscious was up to them, as long as I didn't see it or feel it. So, after a sleepless night, my boyfriend drove me to the hospital just before dawn. I undressed and put on a faded hospital gown while the nurse tucked my hair into a cap. The surgeon came in and marked my forehead with a large black arrow pointing down at my left eye. The anesthesiologist, holding a Styrofoam cup of coffee, flirted with the nurses while I lay there. As they wheeled me into the operating room, I looked back and saw my boyfriend waving goodbye. During my three-hour surgery my eyeball was pulled out of its socket. A "buckle," or strip of tissue, was inserted over the area where the retina had pulled away from the wall at the back of my eyeball. This secured the retina in its proper position for the healing process.

    所以我選擇了第二種方案：在醫(yī)院進(jìn)行全身麻醉手術(shù)。他們將在我失去直覺的情況下對(duì)我的視網(wǎng)膜進(jìn)行手術(shù)，至少我不會(huì)看到或者感受到這一切。因此，在度過了一個(gè)無眠的夜晚之后，黎明前男朋友帶著我去了醫(yī)院。在醫(yī)生將我的頭發(fā)塞進(jìn)帽子的時(shí)候我穿上了一件退了色長袍。主治醫(yī)師在我的左眼上花了一個(gè)大大的黑色的圈。麻醉師拿著一杯泡沫聚苯乙烯咖啡，在我躺下的時(shí)候和護(hù)士們調(diào)著情。當(dāng)他們推著我走進(jìn)手術(shù)室的時(shí)候，我看看后邊，男友正在向我擺著手說再見。在我長三個(gè)小時(shí)的手術(shù)中，我的眼球曾被拿了出來。一個(gè)“皮扣帶”或者組織的一小條被注入到視網(wǎng)膜被拿開的眼球的后面。這樣是為了確保手術(shù)期間視網(wǎng)膜能夠處在正常位置。

    Recuperation was slow. I couldn't lift my head for the first week, and the pain medication made me nauseous. I had to sleep face down for the first month to give the "buckle" time to heal in its normal position. While the bandages covering my eye were frightening, I was shocked when I actually saw my eye. It was bloody and swollen. I felt ugly and disfigured. 

    恢復(fù)的十分緩慢。在術(shù)后的第一周里我不能抬起我的腦袋，醫(yī)療帶來的痛苦讓我感覺到惡心。我不得不在第一個(gè)月仰面而睡以便能夠給“小扣帶”時(shí)間讓它恢復(fù)到正常的位置。當(dāng)我看到自己的時(shí)候，發(fā)現(xiàn)纏繞在眼睛上的繃帶讓我恐懼。它布滿了血，而且十分臃腫。我感覺到了丑陋和變形。

    While I recuperated, life went on. My boyfriend took care of me and our dogs, Homer and Harry. He took me to doctor's appointments and filled my prescriptions. After a full day at work as a law-enforcement officer, he fed us, got us everything we needed, and then went to the hospital, where his mother lay dying. She sent some of her flowers home with him to give to me. I never got the chance to see her again. The first time I went out after the surgery was to attend her memorial service. 

    我恢復(fù)的同時(shí)，生活仍在繼續(xù)。男友照顧著我和我們的狗，Homer 和 Harry。他帶我去復(fù)查，記下我的藥方。一名推動(dòng)法律實(shí)施的工作者在忙碌了一天之后，給我們做飯，提供我們需要的一切東西，然后帶著我去他母親死的那家醫(yī)院。她會(huì)把一些花送回家給我，我卻再?zèng)]有機(jī)會(huì)見到她。我在術(shù)后第一次出門便是參加她的紀(jì)念日。

    The month following my surgery, Hurricane Charley hit our home. We were lucky. While our roof was damaged and the rain permeated the drywall inside, we were unharmed. Although we didn't have electricity for 10 days, we had a generator to run a small portable air-conditioner in the stifling heat. My boyfriend made sure we had plenty of food and water, and enough gas to power the generator while he worked overtime to help other people regain their lives in the aftermath of the storm. Many people weren't as lucky as we were. Some lost their homes. Many were poor and elderly. 

    術(shù)后的一個(gè)月，颶風(fēng)查理襲擊了我們的家。我們是幸運(yùn)的。當(dāng)屋頂被破壞，雨水浸入到干的墻的時(shí)候，我們沒有受到任何傷害。盡管我們10天都沒有電，但是我們有一臺(tái)發(fā)電機(jī)來帶動(dòng)便攜式空調(diào)來驅(qū)除炎熱。我的男友確信當(dāng)他外出，幫助其他人在災(zāi)后重建而加班加點(diǎn)的時(shí)候我們有足夠的食物、水和足夠的天然氣來帶動(dòng)發(fā)電機(jī)。很多人沒有能夠向我們一樣幸運(yùn)。一些人失去了他們的家。很多是窮人和老人。

    I returned to work after three months at home. Soon afterward, my boyfriend's father became very ill. His father passed away at the same hospital where his mother died. Since then the vision in my left eye has returned, and you can't even tell I had the surgery. Harry doesn't sleep above my head anymore, although he still shares our bed. I appreciate a lot more since my injury: the ability to see the world; to have a safe home and roof over my head; to be cool in the heat of summer; to have both my parents alive and in good health; to laugh at my sweet, silly dogs; and to be fortunate enough to share my life with someone who loves and cares for me.

    在家待了三個(gè)月之后我重新回到了工作崗位上。就在那不久，男友的父親病重。他的父親去世在他母親離開的那家醫(yī)院里。從那時(shí)開始我左眼的視力也漸漸恢復(fù)，幾乎很難說出我曾經(jīng)做過手術(shù)。Harry 不再睡在我的頭上的任何位置，盡管他還是在和我們分享一張床。自從我受傷之后，我明白了很多：能夠看見這個(gè)世界；有一個(gè)安全舒適的家；炎熱的夏天中感受涼爽；我的父母都健在，有著健康的身體；去嘲笑我可愛的、笨笨的狗狗；足夠幸運(yùn)能夠和愛我和關(guān)心我的人分享我的生活