Being well liked is what most people want in relationships. The benefits are obvious. You will get the help you need at the time you need it. People will give you information about new opportunities you didn’t know before. Above all, they will really care and love you.
But how could you get other people to like you? How could you become a well liked person? There is actually just one simple rule to follow: you should like other people before they like you. When people realize that you like them, it’s very likely that they will also like you.
Regarding this, I believe that there is one and just one message you need to deliver in your relationships. Delivering this message is the key to strong relationships, and here it is:
You are important to me.
That’s it. No more, no less. Not “your money” nor “your knowledge”, but “you” - as a person - are important to me. Anything you should do in relationships stems from this message. There more you succeed in delivering this message, the more people will like you.
So here I’d like to share 33 tips on how to deliver this message in your relationships. Consequently, these are also tips to become a well liked person. Here they are:
1.Give your contacts a big smile when you meet them. Make them feel that you are really happy to meet them.
2.Give your full attention to the people you converse with as if nothing else is important.
3. When they ask for your attention, leave whatever you are doing.
4.When they call you, greet them with enthusiasm as if you are longing for their call.
5.Don’t make them wait.
6.Print the list of your contacts and look at it in your spare time. It will remind you of whom to touch base.
7.Always reply your contacts’ emails and text messages.
8.Reply their emails and text messages in the first chance you get.
9.Shake their hands with enthusiasm.
10.Praise them sincerely when they do something good. Make them feel that you are proud of them.
11.Always return their calls.
12.Send a message to them on their birthdays. Even better, call them.
13.Drop your old contacts quick emails or text messages to ask how they are doing.
14.Remember their names and achievements.
15.Remember important facts about them, especially the things they really care about (you may want to write them down).
16.Introduce them to the people in your contact who may help them out.
17.Actively find the deepest needs they may have (without waiting for them to explicitly tell you).
18.Take initiative to give them the solutions they need.
19.Give thanks for them in your session of gratitude.
20.Mention their names in your prayer.
21.Talk with them about their life.
22.Ask them specific questions about things they care about. They will realize that you care enough to remember their facts.
23.Give them something precious you have. Time is a good candidate.
24.Go eat with them. Even better, treat them.
25.When you meet them, don’t look at your watch as if you have something more important to do.
26.When you talk to them, don’t look over their shoulder as if you are looking for someone more important to talk to.
27.Send them quick tips or articles you just found which may benefit them.
28.Message them encouraging words or quotes.
29.Lend them the best books or DVDs you have.
30.Talk to them about how you like your other friends. They will think that you may talk the same way about them.
31.Don’t talk negatively to them about how you don’t like your other friends. They will think that you may also talk the same way about them.
32.Occasionally mention their names in your conversation with them.
32.Be creative to give them small surprises every now and then.
惹人喜愛(ài),是大多數(shù)人在人際交往過(guò)程中想要達(dá)到的。益處很顯然,就是在你需要幫助的時(shí)候,將會(huì)得到更多雙援助之手,人們會(huì)給你帶來(lái)你從來(lái)都不知道的關(guān)于新契機(jī)的信息?傊,他們會(huì)真正地關(guān)心你,呵護(hù)你。
但是,怎樣才能使別人喜歡上自己呢?怎樣才能讓自己變得惹人喜愛(ài)呢?實(shí)際上只有一條簡(jiǎn)單的規(guī)則:在別人喜歡你之前,去喜歡別人。當(dāng)人們意識(shí)到你喜歡他們時(shí),很自然的,他們也會(huì)喜歡上你的。
對(duì)于這一點(diǎn),我相信有而且僅僅只有一點(diǎn)信息在人際交往上需要傳達(dá)。傳遞這個(gè)信息是增強(qiáng)友誼的關(guān)鍵,那就是:
你,對(duì)于我很重要。
對(duì),就是這一點(diǎn)。沒(méi)有別的了。不是“你的錢(qián)”,“你的學(xué)識(shí)”,而只是“你”-你的人-對(duì)我很重要。在交際中你做的任何事情都源于此。所以,你表達(dá)的這一信息越多,就會(huì)有越多的人喜歡你。
那么,我愿意與你分享33條關(guān)于怎樣在交際中傳達(dá)這則信息的建議。當(dāng)然,這也是讓你變得惹人喜愛(ài)的建議。如下:
1.遇見(jiàn)別人的時(shí)候,予以燦爛的微笑。讓他們感到你很快樂(lè),很樂(lè)于與其相處。
2.把全身的注意力都集中在與你談話的人身上,忽略其他。
3.當(dāng)別人與你說(shuō)話的時(shí)候,無(wú)論正在做什么,放下手邊的工作。
4.當(dāng)別人登門(mén)拜訪的時(shí)候,熱情的接待,就好像你很期待他們。
5.別讓他人等待。
6.列出與熟人往來(lái)的單子,最好打印出來(lái),有空兒的時(shí)候看看。它會(huì)提示你,最近和誰(shuí),該聯(lián)系聯(lián)系了。
7.永遠(yuǎn)記得回郵件,短消息。
8.回復(fù)別人的e-mail與短消息,在你有機(jī)會(huì)回復(fù)的第一時(shí)間里。
9.握手,要熱情。
10.別人做的非常好的時(shí)候,真誠(chéng)的贊美。讓他們感到你的欣賞。
11.拜訪,記得回訪。
12.別人生日時(shí),發(fā)短信送去祝福。當(dāng)然,打個(gè)電話再好不過(guò)了。
13.對(duì)于許久沒(méi)有回復(fù)的信息,刪掉的同時(shí)盡快發(fā)去郵件或短信,與他們保持聯(lián)系。
14.要記得別人的名字與成就。
15.記下對(duì)于別人重要的事情,尤其是他們最關(guān)心的(也許可以寫(xiě)下來(lái))
16.別人向你求助,如果有幫得上忙的朋友,可以引薦給他。
17.主動(dòng)的雪中送炭(而不是等別人向你求助)。
18.率先提供給別人解決問(wèn)題的辦法。
19.向別人致謝,用以感恩的心。
20.禱告的時(shí)候提到他們的名字。
21.與人攀談時(shí),可以聊聊關(guān)于他的生活。
22.對(duì)于別人關(guān)心的事情,具體詢問(wèn)。他們會(huì)體感覺(jué)到你的體恤。
23.與別人分享對(duì)你來(lái)說(shuō)珍貴的東西。時(shí)間是最好的候選者。
24.一同吃飯。當(dāng)然,最好不過(guò)的,是自己來(lái)下廚招待。
25.與別人相處時(shí),不要總是看表。會(huì)使人誤解你有很重要的事情去做。
26.與人說(shuō)話,不要看著別人的肩膀。那使你看上去很急于結(jié)束對(duì)話。
27.給別人介紹好的引薦或文章。
28.發(fā)短信,多寫(xiě)一些鼓舞的文字或引用。
29.如果有的話,借給別人你最喜愛(ài)的書(shū)籍或電影。
30.與人交談,常說(shuō)說(shuō)朋友的好話。那樣,在他的背后,也會(huì)認(rèn)為你會(huì)如此談?wù)撍?br />
31.不要背地里講朋友的壞話。這樣,在他的背后,說(shuō)到他的時(shí)候,他也會(huì)這么認(rèn)為。
32.交談中,偶爾提到對(duì)方的名字。
33.時(shí)常給別人富有創(chuàng)造力的小小驚喜。