The foundation of any relationship, whether it be with a Business associate, spouse, parent, client or, friend, is trust. Trust is not something that can be built with quick fix techniques. Rather, it is something that is cultivated through consistent habits in your interactions. The following are twelve patterns of behavior that increase trust in your relationships.

1. Be transparent

Do not try to hide things from others. Refuse to have any hidden agendas. You might think you can pull a fast one on someone else. You can’t. Most people have good intuition and even though they may not be able to consciously determine that you are hiding something, they very likely will have an uneasy feeling around you. If they don`t feel comfortable around you, they won't be able to trust you.

Another sinister aspect of having hidden agenda is that it erodes your ability to trust others. You will assume that if you aren’t fully forthcoming, other people aren’t either. When you are trustworthy, however, you will see others as more trustworthy too.

2. Be sincere

This is similar to the previous point. Only say what you mean. Be impeccably honest with your words. Refuse to try and craft your words to manipulate others. Don`t give fake compliments, patronize others or say something just because you think you are supposed to. Again, people have good BS detectors. When others know that you only speak genuinely, it increases their capacity to trust you. Everyone loves authenticity.

3. Focus on adding value

In any relationship, always have the best interest of others at heart. Work hard to give as much or more than you get. When you consistently add value to someone`s life, they not only feel like you are on their side, they also have the urge to reciprocate. In Business relationships, this means always under-promise and over-deliver. In personal relationships, focusing on meeting the needs of the other person instead of taking in order to get your own needs met.

4. Be present

The last thing anyone wants is to have a conversation with someone who isn’t there. Instead of retreating into your head, focus on listening to others. Whenever you are with someone, make them your primary focus. Don’t think about work while you are at Home talking to your spouse. Don’t think about life at Home when you are with a client. When it comes to relationships, presence means quality time and quality time builds trust.

5. Always treat people with respect

Ever since we were little kids, we have been taught to be respectful. However, when our standards get violated or there is no one around to see (read: we don`t think there will be any consequences), we can often engage in petty behavior. This encompasses a wide range of actions from personal attacks during arguments to gossiping behind someone’s back.

Always remember that another person’s inherent worth as a human being entitles them to be treated with dignity. When people know that you will always treat with them respect, it is very natural for trust to flourish.

6. Take responsibility

When you mess up, which you invariably will, be quick to clean it up. Skip the excuses and just take responsibility. Justifying and making excuses may help you in the short term but in the long run, it does nothing for your character or the level of trust you are given. Accountability is a rare trait these days with most people wanting to avoid negative consequences at all costs. Dare to be different and you will win the trust of others.

7. Focus on feedback

Unless you`re a mind reader, the only way you can know how well a relationship is going is by getting feedback from the other person. Be not only willing to accept feedback – actively seek it out. Many people are afraid to give you feedback, especially if its negative, out of fear that they will offend. Ask with sincerity and respond respectfully and others will be far more willing. Take both the positive and negative into account along with your own judgment and adjust your behaviour accordingly.

8. Take criticism well

Learn to handle criticism with grace. Instead of getting defensive, consider the possibility that what the other person is saying might be true. Closing yourself off from criticism has the effect of closing off all communication.

In some cases, the criticism may indeed be inaccurate. In these instances, you have the opportunity to show empathy. Try to understand the problem from the other person’s point of view. Perhaps the criticism is just a thinly veiled attack that stems from a deeper upset they may have with you. In these cases, your willingness to dig deeper without getting defensive will certainly enhance the trust in the relationship.

9. Set boundaries

Be clear about how you expect people to behave around you. Again, do this in a mature manner: be sincere and respectful. When you have clear standards, people know exactly how to behave around you and that gives them certainty. The strength that you communicate by setting boundaries builds trust – when someone knows that they can`t take advantage you that alleviates the fear that someone else will.

10. Be a class act

Hold yourself to a higher a standard. Be quick to apologize when you know you are wrong. Only speak well of others, even those who don`t speak well of you.

Why should you do this? First, imagine what it would do to your sense of self to know that other people only have good experiences with you. Second, imagine how much trust such behaviour engenders in others. Finally, imagine the example you set for others – the conduct of others will improve just by being around you consistently.

11. Your word is your bond

Keep all the promises you make and ensure that you make promises only sparingly. Make your word stronger than any written contract. Refuse to make empty promises and manipulate people.

When a promise you have made is no longer beneficial to you, instead of deciding to not follow through, attempt to renegotiate the deal. When you renegotiate the agreement, ensure that the new commitment provides even more value to the other person.

12. Be consistent

Above all, be consistent in your behavior. Don’t engage in the behavior once in a while when it seems convenient. Your consistency is the key to your trustworthiness. Small actions add up and a track record of high character is invaluable in any relationship. Become intensely principle-centered and trust will follow easily and consistently.

無(wú)論是與你的商業(yè)伙伴、伴侶、父母、客戶(hù)或者朋友，任何一種關(guān)系建立的基礎(chǔ)都是信任。信任的建立不是一蹴而就的，相反，它是在您一貫的交往習(xí)慣中日益醞釀出來(lái)的。下面12種行事準(zhǔn)則將有助于您在人際交往中建立信任。

1、行為透明

不要試圖對(duì)別人隱瞞什么。不要秘密地計(jì)劃議程。你也許認(rèn)為你有把握對(duì)某人耍些小手段。其實(shí)你不能。大多數(shù)人的直覺(jué)都很敏銳，即使他們不能確定你在隱瞞些什么，但他們能感覺(jué)得到。如果他們和你在一起感到不舒服，那么他們就不會(huì)信任你。

隱瞞的另一個(gè)消極作用就是它讓你不再信任別人。你會(huì)假想如果自己不坦誠(chéng)，別人也一定不會(huì)坦誠(chéng)。反過(guò)來(lái)說(shuō)，如果你自己是值得信任的，你也會(huì)覺(jué)得別人和你一樣值得信任。

2、待人坦誠(chéng)

這與第一條很相似。說(shuō)出你真正所想。要絕對(duì)說(shuō)真話(huà)。避免試圖編造謊言去操縱他人。不要刻意恭維贊美，說(shuō)一些別人愛(ài)聽(tīng)的話(huà)。如前者所述，人們都有很強(qiáng)的分辨力。當(dāng)別人發(fā)現(xiàn)你說(shuō)的那些話(huà)都是出自真心時(shí)，他們就會(huì)信任你。每個(gè)人都喜歡真誠(chéng)。

3、調(diào)整價(jià)值觀

不管是何種關(guān)系，要始終把別人的利益放在心中。努力去給予，使其相當(dāng)于或超出自己的所得。當(dāng)你不斷地為別人帶來(lái)價(jià)值的時(shí)候，別人不僅僅會(huì)認(rèn)為你是站在他們那一邊的，他們也會(huì)努力去回報(bào)你。在業(yè)務(wù)來(lái)往中，這就意味著給予要大于承諾。在個(gè)人交往中，則是要致力于多多滿(mǎn)足別人的需要，而不是向別人一味地索求。

4、心神一致

沒(méi)有人愿意和一個(gè)心不在焉的人談話(huà)。

和別人在一起是，不要三心二意，要注意聽(tīng)別人在講什么。不論和誰(shuí)在一起，都要把他/她當(dāng)作自己關(guān)注的焦點(diǎn)。當(dāng)你和你的妻子聊天的時(shí)，就不要再想工作上的事情。當(dāng)你和客戶(hù)談生意的時(shí)，也不要想家里的事。專(zhuān)心使你提高了時(shí)間利用率，在人際關(guān)系上，它幫你建立了信任。

5、始終尊重別人

在我們很小時(shí)，父母就教導(dǎo)我們要要尊重別人。然而，一旦我們的準(zhǔn)則遭到侵犯，或無(wú)人注意我們時(shí)（并且認(rèn)為沒(méi)有人會(huì)回應(yīng)我們），我們經(jīng)常會(huì)有一些不雅行為。這個(gè)涵蓋范圍很廣，包括與人爭(zhēng)論時(shí)搞人身攻擊，或背后說(shuō)人壞話(huà)。

你要始終記得，任何一個(gè)人都是值得我們?nèi)プ鹬氐摹．?dāng)別人發(fā)現(xiàn)你始終都是發(fā)自?xún)?nèi)心的尊重他時(shí)，他對(duì)你的信任也就自然而然的加深了。

6、承擔(dān)責(zé)任

如果你總是把事情弄糟的話(huà)，那么盡快的處理好。不要只是道歉，要負(fù)起你的責(zé)任。短時(shí)間內(nèi)來(lái)看道歉也許對(duì)你有用，但從長(zhǎng)遠(yuǎn)來(lái)講這對(duì)你的品行或信任的樹(shù)立毫無(wú)用處。敢于承擔(dān)責(zé)任已經(jīng)成為了現(xiàn)代人的一個(gè)稀有的品質(zhì)。大家都在忙著想盡辦法去避免那些負(fù)面的消極的結(jié)果。在這一點(diǎn)上，如果你敢于講真話(huà)，你將會(huì)贏得別人的信任。

7、關(guān)注反饋意見(jiàn)

除非你會(huì)讀心術(shù)，唯一可以知道你的關(guān)系處的如何的方法就是從他人口中得到反饋。不要坐著等反饋上門(mén)，要主動(dòng)去尋找，特別是別人不敢說(shuō)出口負(fù)面意見(jiàn)。要真誠(chéng)，客氣地去問(wèn)，別人就會(huì)很樂(lè)意告訴你了。把肯定和否定的綜合在一起并加以判斷，然后對(duì)自己的行為做出一些合理的調(diào)整。

8、接受批評(píng)

學(xué)會(huì)優(yōu)雅地對(duì)待批評(píng)，而不是一味地防守，或許別人是對(duì)的。反對(duì)批評(píng)只會(huì)使你切斷一切交流的途徑。

有些時(shí)候別人的批評(píng)也許真的很不對(duì)。在這種情況下，要試著從別人的角度來(lái)發(fā)現(xiàn)問(wèn)題所在�；蛟S這只是批評(píng)者對(duì)您不滿(mǎn)的間接的表示。這時(shí)，如果你既往不咎卻真誠(chéng)地想了解更多的行為，定會(huì)使你在交往中更加值得信任。

9、設(shè)定界限

弄清楚，你想讓別人在你面前有怎樣的行為舉止。和獲取反饋意見(jiàn)一樣，你需要對(duì)別人表現(xiàn)出真誠(chéng)和尊重。當(dāng)你有了一個(gè)明確的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，大家也都明白了和你交往的行為尺度，這會(huì)使他們和你相處起來(lái)不再心里沒(méi)譜。設(shè)定界限的交流同樣使你可信，一些人就明白了沒(méi)有辦法利用你也就減少了別人會(huì)利用你的擔(dān)心。

10、表現(xiàn)出色

給自己制定一個(gè)更高的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)。當(dāng)你意識(shí)到自己做錯(cuò)的時(shí)候要趕快道歉。稱(chēng)贊別人，即使那些人不喜歡你。

為什么要這么做呢？首先，想一想那些對(duì)你印象好的人，這意味著什么；其次，想一想這么做會(huì)你增加多少信任度；最后，想想你樹(shù)立的這個(gè)榜樣——常和你呆在一起的人也會(huì)因此改善自己的行為舉止。

11、重信守諾

遵守諾言，且不要輕易許諾。要讓你的諾言比那些文本合同還要有效。

如果曾經(jīng)的諾言已經(jīng)不易于實(shí)現(xiàn)，不要悔言，試著就這個(gè)事情重新談判。并確保經(jīng)過(guò)重新談判達(dá)成的新協(xié)議，能給別人帶來(lái)更多的好處。

12、始終如一

最重要的一點(diǎn)：始終如一。不要貪圖一時(shí)便利而改變它。保持你的一貫做法是你贏得信任的金鑰匙。一個(gè)小的舉動(dòng)，一次高品質(zhì)的體現(xiàn)在您的人際關(guān)系中的價(jià)值都不可估量。堅(jiān)持按準(zhǔn)則辦事，信任就會(huì)如影而隨。