If there's one thing Johanna Rothman knows, it's the corrosiveeffects of jealousy. At 30, the author of "Behind Closed Doors: Secrets of Great Management" was incensedwhen a coworker got a job she wanted. Later, when she took a job managing former peers, she felt their jealousy in curt, backhanded compliments.

    有一件事情是Johanna Rothman非常清楚的，那就是嫉妒所產(chǎn)生的危害性。Johanna Rothman 是"關(guān)起門來：成功管理的秘密"一書的作者，在其30歲的時候，一個同事得到了她夢寐以求的職位，她很憤怒。稍后，當(dāng)她升職，開始管理以前的同行時，她感到了他們譏諷的恭維中所包含的嫉妒。

    "If you can admit you're jealous, you can start dealing with it," says Rothman. "If you don't, jealousy can poison your relationships."

    Rothman說："如果你肯承認(rèn)自己是在嫉妒，那么你就可以處理好自己的嫉妒。若你沒有及時處理好你的嫉妒情緒，它會毒害你的人際關(guān)系。"

    Jealousy can also poison your career by distracting you from your job and forcing you into constant comparisons that leave you demoralized, she says.

    她還說："嫉妒也會讓你無心工作，只專注于和別人攀比，最后在自卑中一蹶不振，毀了你的職業(yè)生涯。"

    Want to curbyour or others' jealousy while keeping your eye on your goals? Consider these tips:

    想要在專注于自己的人生目標(biāo)的同時，化解掉自己的或別人的嫉妒，參考下面的小貼士吧：

    If you're jealous:

    如果是自己在嫉妒：

    1. Track your accomplishments

    記錄你的成就

    "Do a month-by-month resume" for the past year, Rothman advises. "When I did this, I saw that there was a real theme: It was all about the project and nothing about the people. It was clear I really wasn't ready to be a manager."

    "將你過去的成績按月份做出一份摘要。" Rothman建議說："當(dāng)我這樣做的時候，我看到在過去的一年里，我做的事情都是只與項目有關(guān)，而與人沒任何關(guān)系，這份摘要清楚的告訴我，我真的還不適合當(dāng)一名經(jīng)理。"

    2. Talk to your boss

    與你的上司談?wù)?/p>

    Bring your monthly resume to your boss; show him your skills and ask why you didn't get the promotion, says Rothman. Be clear that you're doing this because you want the promotion or raise next time.

    將你做的每月摘要表拿給你的上司看看，向他展示你的才能，問他為什么你還沒得到提升。不過你要知道，你這樣做是因為你想獲得下次的升職機(jī)會。

    "My boss had no idea how productive I'd been," she recalls. "I learned to keep updating my resume and to inform my boss of what was going on regularly. In a few months, a bigger job opened up and I got it. My boss realized I was perfect for it."

    "我的上司不知道我工作多么有效率"她回憶說："我后來學(xué)會了持續(xù)更新我的履歷表，并讓我上司定期知道我做了些什么事情。幾個月后，有一份很重要的工作，因為我的上司終于認(rèn)識到我才是最適合的人選，所以我得到了這個工作機(jī)會。"

    3. Develop your skills

    發(fā)展你的才能

    Ask the person you envy how she learned to do what she does, and beef up your skill set. Then it's not about her anymore -- it's about developing your career.

    向你嫉妒的人虛心請教，問他們是如何做到這樣的成就的，然后拓展你的技能。那么接下來的事情就和她無關(guān)了，就是你需要如何拓展自己的職業(yè)技能了。

    "It turns out my new boss was the best manager I'd ever had," says Rothman. "But if I admitted, 'Look, Johanna, you're jealous,' I wouldn't have been able to work with her."

    Rothman說："結(jié)果證明我的新上司是我遇到過的最好的經(jīng)理，但是如果我承認(rèn)自己是在嫉妒她的話，我就不能和她一起共事。"

    1.Save the brag-athon for after work

    不要在工作之余炫耀

    "It's often not the closer relationships with bosses, the promotions, or the raises that create hostility," explains Tina Lewis Rowe, a career coach in Denver. "It's the way the employee with good fortune handles it."

    丹弗的職業(yè)教練Tina Lewis Rowe說："通常引起同事之間敵意的不是員工與上司的親密關(guān)系，提升或者表揚(yáng)，而是有大好發(fā)展前程的員工處理這些時的方法。"

    Don't name-drop the CEO you had lunch with, mention the conference you're attending or talk excitedly about your new job or salary with less-fortunate coworkers. "Even a saint would have trouble smiling and being happy for someone in those circumstances," she says.

    她說："不要總是向同事炫耀你與執(zhí)行總裁吃過飯，以此來自抬身價，也不要總是和沒你那么幸運(yùn)的同事提及你參加過的會議，興奮的向他訴說你的新工作或薪水，即使他是個圣人，在這種情況下他也很難笑著為你祝賀。"

    2.Don't apologize.

    不要道歉

    It's natural to feel humbled by a wonderful career development, but those who didn't get the raise don't want to hear how undeserving you feel, said Lewis Rowe. Chances are, they might agree.

    Lewis Rowe說，

    人在職業(yè)發(fā)展的輝煌時期會感到受寵若驚是很自然的事情，但是沒有得到這個發(fā)展機(jī)會的人并不想聽到你說你覺得自己擔(dān)當(dāng)不起這個大任。雖然他們可能會覺得你確實不配得到這樣的機(jī)會。

    3.De-escalatetension.

    緩和緊張的局勢

    If you're a new manager for former peers, encourage your new staff's strengths.

    如果你剛剛升職當(dāng)上了經(jīng)理，要管理你以前的同事，那么你就要多表揚(yáng)他們的優(yōu)點。

    "You need to know what to do to make all the people （in your department） stars," she says. "I was always finding the most successful people and promoting them out from underneath me. That's an accomplishment that the employee and the manager can agree they did together."

    "作為一個經(jīng)理，你需要知道怎么做才能讓你所有的手下覺得他們都是明星。"她說："我總是發(fā)掘最成功的人才，并給他們升職，讓他們超越我。這樣做可以取得經(jīng)理和職員雙贏的成就。"